The feminist movement is suffering an identity crisis. Feminists claim that women, in the last several decades, have made great advances in personal freedoms, jobs and politics. Feminist writers maintain that advances in birth control have given women the same sexual freedom as men. In other words, women can now have multiple partners and not fear pregnancy! Feminist leaders proudly proclaim women are as good as men in the job market. Women are landing traditionally “male” jobs. For example, women are working construction, serving in the military, and leading many corporations. Feminists declare that they have finally achieved some long
standing goals.
Women no longer need to feel shackled by the “traditional” roles of wife, homemaker and mother. But with all of this success, why aren’t more women happy? After decades of marches, placard waving and angry speeches, there is a growing undercurrent of dissatisfaction within the women’s movement. Wendy Kaminer wrote in The Atlantic Monthly, “Thirty-nine percent of women, recently surveyed by Redbook, said that feminism had made it “harder” for women to balance work and family life … wage-earning mothers still tend to feel guilty about not being with their children and…worry that ‘the more women get ahead professionally, the more children will fall back …’” (pages 56, 58).
Even minority women feel that the feminist movement has failed to solve their problems with inner city life—no jobs and poverty. There is even a growing number of very well-educated, young white females who refuse to be known as feminists. In fact, some very talented, capable women are turning back to the more traditional roles of wife, home-maker and mother. Why? Personal freedoms, great careers and achieving “male” status have not provided the fulfillment they desired. All human beings want fulfillment and happiness. The problem is, mankind has cut himself off from the way to find true happiness.
Living happily in a marriage seems like an unreal dream for most people today. Many couples are attempting to find happiness outside of marriage. Why are so many people anti-marriage today? Paul prophesied that our times would be very perilous (2 Timothy 3:1). The word “perilous” can also be translated dangerous. Paul shows, one reason for the danger today is because human beings no longer have a “natural affection” for each other (2 Timothy 3:3). Our newspapers are full of headlines proving this verse true. Children are killing parents; husbands—wives; and wives—husbands. People have become more concerned with their own selfish desires (2 Timothy 3:2). Although there are many people claiming to be religious, our time is one that has drifted far from the true knowledge of God (2 Timothy 3:5). God and the Bible no longer bear any direct authority in many people’s lives. And society is suffering the results.
In the last several decades, homes that should have been a bastion of peace and tranquility have become vicious battlegrounds. Failed marriages have led to great sadness, and even tragedy. Many children have watched their mothers being abused mentally, emotionally and physically. Because of this fact, many people, especially women, have become anti-men and anti-marriage. The feminist movement has gained notoriety because of these many problems in society. Leading women want solutions to marriage, family and society’s problems; but the women’s movement is walking down the wrong path for a solution. All women will have to come to the realization that they can never discover solutions to human problems or find happiness through feminist values. How can you, as a woman, become truly fulfilled?
The truth is, God created women for a physical and spiritual purpose. Women will only find true happiness by living according to these purposes. This article has been written to inspire you to recapture the value in true womanhood. What is true womanhood? We must look to the Bible—to God’s revealed purpose for women—for the answer. Why did God create women? “The Lord God said, It is not good for the man to be alone. I will make a helper suitable for him.” (Genesis 2:18). Well educated people scoff at the revelation concerning Adam and Eve. Yet, these few verses in Genesis reveal God’s awesome purpose for women and men. If only believed, these verses can give solutions to the unhappy state of many women.
This historical account in Genesis is probably one of the most romantic in all of the Bible. Adam was brought to life suddenly. He was given an incredibly beautiful, semi-tropical garden, teeming with wild life, as his home. He was in perfect health. He was incredibly good looking and had sharp intelligence. Genesis 1:26-28 shows that God gave Adam authority over an entire planet. What a fantastic challenge! Genesis 2:19 shows that Adam went right to work. God brought the animals to him and he gave each animal species its name. But Adam soon discovered that he was alone. He was given an awesome job. He had a great home—plenty of wealth—but no one to share his life. There was no one of his same kind to experience the beauty of creation. There was no one to share his plans, hopes and dreams. There was no other human whom he could love.
God knew that it was not good for Adam to be alone. So God put Adam under a deep sleep. He took one of his ribs and fashioned Eve from that rib. Being molded from Adam’s rib, the laws of biology tell us Eve shared the same body cell structure and blood type as Adam. Adam understood this fact when he first saw Eve. “This is now bone of my bones and flesh of my flesh; she shall be called ‘woman, for she was taken out of man.” (Genesis 2:23) In a wedding procession fashion, God brought Eve to give to Adam. Eve was also in perfect health and stunningly beautiful. Like Adam, she had sharp intelligence. God created Eve to be the perfect match for Adam. After presenting Eve to Adam, God then bound them as husband and wife. In this first marriage ceremony, God said, “That is why a man leaves his father and mother and is united to his wife, and they become one flesh.” (Genesis 2:24) The women’s movement has taught millions of women to scorn this knowledge concerning Eve’s creation. However, Eve was created to assist Adam. That is the revealed purpose for women. A woman’s purpose is tied intimately to that of a man. God did not create Eve to be in competition with Adam. Adam and Eve were created to work in harmony—together.
Feminists nearly choke when God’s revealed purpose for women is discussed. Somehow they believe that these scriptures show that women are inferior. The truth is that the scriptures say just the opposite. Remember God said that it was not good for Adam to be “alone.” Adam may have been in perfect health, incredibly handsome and of high intelligence, but he was not “good” alone. If Adam was not good alone, then why would God create an “inferior” woman to help him? The truth is, Adam needed Eve. Adam was not complete in himself. He needed Eve’s special talents and abilities in order to become the success God wanted him to be.
Adam could find no animal creature to help him with his special needs. An animal could not share Adam’s thoughts, hopes and dreams. Only the woman, Eve, could help him achieve his full potential. Without this help, which only the woman could give, Adam would not have a full, abundant, peaceful and balanced life. This is God’s physical purpose for creating woman. Woman was designed to be the inspiration and encouragement for her own husband. A husband’s success in life is also the wife’s success. Without giving this kind of help, a woman, if married, becomes frustrated, depressed, resentful and unfulfilled. Why? She is failing to fulfill the very purpose for which she was created! Some may ask, must all women be married to find fulfillment? The answer is no. In Matthew 19:11-12, Jesus taught that some people choose to be single for the Kingdom or work’s sake.
The apostle Paul lived as a single because of his commission and the seriousness of the times in which he lived. Because Paul believed he was living in the end time, he wished that everyone were single. He said, “I wish that all of you were as I am. But each of you has your own gift from God; one has this gift, another has that.” (1 Corinthians 7:7 ). Why? Paul said, “I would like you to be free from concern. An unmarried man is concerned about the Lord’s affairs—how he can please the Lord.” (1 Corinthians 7:32). Building a strong marriage takes much work. Striving to build a strong marriage in tough times is even more difficult. A woman who chooses to be single, as long as she lives lawfully, can still achieve the spiritual purpose God has planned for her.
If you, as a woman, are married, or desire to be married, then you must focus on the wife’s purpose in marriage. This is the only way you can achieve true happiness. Paul states, “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord.” (Ephesians 5:22). Submission has become a bad, bad word in today’s society. Because of all the abuse of women, submission has taken on a very negative connotation. But if a man is living as a godly husband, submission is a very positive and fulfilling experience for a woman. The word for “submit” in the Greek is “hupotasso” and means to subordinate, to obey, be under obedience, put under, subdue unto. Submission means to put yourself under authority.
When God put man on this earth, He established authority in marriage and family. God decided that men would have the overall or final authority in regard to marriage and family. Paul taught, “I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve.” (1 Timothy 2:12-13) God has given men the head or lead position in the home. Wives must not strive to take over that position. True family happiness can only come through the proper, loving use of authority. That is the man’s serious responsibility. A wife has the responsibility to fully support her husband’s authority. Unfortunately, this is where many women fail in marriage today.
Women in God’s Church must recognize that even their husbands are under authority. Paul shows, “But I want you to realize that the head of every man is Christ, and the head of the woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” (1 Corinthians 11:3). Converted men have a boss 24 hours a day—Jesus Christ. Paul shows here that even Christ willingly submits to God the Father. There must be government in the home. The man is the head. The wife shares the authority with the man as second in command. But a wife is not equal in authority. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.” (Ephesians 5:24) Women must look to the example of Christ and the Church to learn how to properly submit to a loving husband.
True submission means more than just choking down commands. True submission is helping and complementing your husband “in everything.” You must learn to be responsive to your husband, to his direction of the home and family, to his plans for family recreation and way of life. A responsive wife fully shares and takes pleasure in her husband’s successes and accomplishments, knowing that she has helped him to achieve success. A loving wife also shares her husband’s failures, sorrows and disappointments. Never ridiculing, a loving wife always strives to give her husband sympathy and encouragement so that he can rebound to better success in the future.
Submission does not mean that a woman be weak. In fact, to fulfill her God-intended purpose a woman must be very strong emotionally and spiritually. Peter taught this. “Wives, in the same way submit yourselves to your own husbands so that, if any of them do not believe the word, they may be won over without words by the behavior of their wives, when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” (1 Peter 3:1-2). Like Paul, Peter taught that a woman must be in subjection to her husband. But Peter also taught that a converted woman must put some limits concerning submission. Let’s look at these verses closely. Verse 1 discusses a husband who is not obeying God’s word. This can mean that the husband is either a “non believer”, or a “believer” mate. Converted men do not always obey God’s word. Verse 1 implies that even though a wife must be in subjection, she must not disobey God’s word. In other words, a wife must be spiritually strong enough to obey God even if the husband is not obeying God. A godly woman would never allow any man to lead her away from God.
By writing these verses, Peter shows that there should be great strength in feminine character. A truly converted wife will not follow a disobedient husband’s bad conduct. In fact, her “chaste” conduct is a strong example to her husband. Actually, through her obedience, a wife could lead her husband out of disobedience. Notice that Peter emphasizes conduct. A woman should strive to win back a disobedient husband through her conduct. Peter does not say that a woman should nag at, complain against, cajole, or rebel against her husband in everything because he is disobedient. She must be strong enough to set the right example. How does a woman maintain this kind of strength and still be in subjection? Peter gives us the answer in verse 2. Converted women must have good conduct “when they see the purity and reverence of your lives.” Actually, to be a truly submissive wife, a woman must be in subjection to God first.
What does God the Father look for most in His spirit-begotten women? “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes.Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” (1 Peter 3:3-4) God does not care much for appearance. God places a high value on women who have developed “a meek and quiet spirit.” Many women (and men) today place too much emphasis on a woman’s beauty or status. But God says a woman’s deep conversion is her true beauty. A spirit-led woman is of great price to God. In order to show they are as good as men, some women have developed a forward and noisy personality. This behavior is unbecoming for men. It is even less becoming for women. A strong and secure woman is feminine in all social situations. A woman with a “meek and quiet” spirit is not a wallflower or a weakling. She wisely uses her feminine character to assist and serve others.
Modern women have lost sight of the force and vitality of true femininity. It is sad to say that there are not many examples today for women to follow. Peter wrote, “For this is the way the holy women of the past who put their hope in God used to adorn themselves. They submitted themselves to their own husbands, like Sarah, who obeyed Abraham and called him her lord. You are her daughters if you do what is right and do not give way to fear.” (1 Peter 3:5-6) Peter points out that Sarah set an example for all women to follow. Genesis records for us that Abraham did not live a perfect life. He made mistakes—some were very serious mistakes. He even subjected Sarah to some wrong situations in Egypt with Pharaoh and in Gerar with Abimelech (Genesis 12 and 20). Yet Sarah obeyed Abraham. How could she obey him? Sarah trusted in God. When Abraham disobeyed God, Sarah didn’t rebel against him. She looked to God for her protection. God saw to Sarah’s needs. If your husband isn’t obeying God, you should not follow him in his rebellion. But neither can you use his rebellion as an excuse to rebel against him. Trust in God and He will see to your needs. True happiness will come to you if you remain submissive to your husband. But never see submission as being weak.
Many women today look down upon stay-at-home wives and mothers. Yet God also planned that women give birth to, and raise children. An effective mother exerts great influence over society. Paul admonished Titus to remind the older women of their responsibility to teach the young women how to be wives and mothers. Paul wrote, “Then they can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, to be busy at home, to be kind, and to be subject to their husbands, so that no one will malign the word of God.” (Titus 2:4-5) Paul shows here that the highest calling for a young woman is to become a competent wife and mother. Society has forgotten that tomorrow’s leaders are trained by today’s mothers. Why are so many young people in serious trouble with drugs, pre-marital sex, alcoholism and gangs? There are very few “keepers at home.” Many women are trying to jostle full-time careers and family life. Many women have become full-time professionals and part-time moms. Who suffers most? The children do. Christ will praise women who become loving wives and competent mothers. Can you imagine what life will be like when women are taught to pursue the God-ordained career of stay-at-home wife and mother? Women will be more happy. Children will be happy and stable. Why should any woman be put down for aspiring to the calling of wife, mother and homemaker?
To be a wife, mother and homemaker requires much education and skill. Teaching and training young children demands years of study. A good mother has to be a teacher, doctor, nurse and psychologist. Most school teachers are required to take 5 or 6 years of upper level education to be able to teach in a school. Doctors have to be trained for 8 to ten years. A good mother has to be ever learning as her family matures. An effective wife and mother has to become multi-talented. Should all women and wives stay at home and not work? The answer is no. There is no problem with single women working. Even when a couple is newly married, a young wife can and often needs to work outside the home. A young couple working two jobs can achieve financial stability more quickly. But if a couple has small children, the wife should not work outside of the home. There could be times when family emergencies may require that a mother work temporarily, but it should only be temporary. Because of a high divorce rate and sexual permissiveness, our society has produced a large number of single mothers. Unfortunately, most single mothers must work to support themselves. The extended family should provide as much support as possible to single mothers. A single mother must fight to spend as much time with her young family as possible.
Striving for true womanhood is a supreme challenge. A devoted wife and mother is more valuable than all the wealth of this world. Solomon laid the gauntlet before all women to strive for true feminine character. He outlines these essential qualities of true womanhood in Proverbs 31. Let’s look at a few of the sterling qualities of this woman. Her husband trusted her (verse 11) because she did many good things for him (verse 12). Because of her loving support and encouragement, he was successful and well-respected in the community (verse 23). She made clothing for her family and procured the best of foods for them (verses 13-14, 19, 21). She got up early to serve her household, including the servants (verse 15). She conducted her own business (verse 24). She also had time for the poor (verse 20). Most of all, she was happy (verse 25). Why was she happy? She was living a productive, full life. Study all of the verses in Proverbs 31. They will inspire you to set goals and accomplish more in your life than you ever dreamed possible. The Proverbs 31 characteristics are only valuable if a woman achieves her ultimate spiritual purpose in life—making it into the Kingdom of God.
Men and women are on equal ground when it comes to attaining the Kingdom of God. Peter taught, “Husbands, in the same way be considerate as you live with your wives, and treat them with respect as the weaker partner and as heirs with you of the gracious gift of life, so that nothing will hinder your prayers.” (1 Peter 3:7) Men and women are “heirs together” of the grace of life. A man learns to rule by being the head or leader of the wife and family. A wife learns to rule by supporting her husband, managing the home and teaching and training the children. A woman cannot attain the Kingdom as a man. A woman can only attain the Kingdom being a woman. Paul wrote, “But women will be saved through childbearing—if they continue in faith, love and holiness with propriety.” (1 Timothy 2:15) God gave men and women unique purpose. A woman’s purpose is not inferior to a man’s. God created women to be wives and mothers. God gave women these specific purposes in this life so they can learn to rule in His Family forever. All women who desire true happiness now and forever must recapture the incredible value in true womanhood.
Biblical womanhood is the distinguishing character of a woman as defined by the Bible. When God created two genders (Genesis 1:27; 5:2; Matthew 19:4), He also instituted different roles for each gender. He designed the bodies and brains of men and women to work differently and to fulfill complementary roles. A man does not need to act like a woman because he can never be a woman. He can never process information like a woman, because his brain, his DNA, and his entire being are male. The same is true for women trying to be men. The quest for biblical womanhood begins in the same place that biblical manhood begins. Galatians 3:28 states that “There is neither Jew nor Gentile, neither slave nor free, nor is there male and female, for you are all one in Christ Jesus.” In Christ, we have equal value and equal responsibility to obey and serve the Lord. All scriptural commands about surrender (Romans 12:1–2), service (Romans 12:1), and dedication (1 Corinthians 7:33–35) apply equally to men and women.
So the Bible’s instruction for any woman who strives for biblical womanhood begins with her being born again (John 3:3). She must have become a “new creature” in Christ (2 Corinthians 5:17) and take seriously Jesus’ words about the need to abide in Him (John 15:1–5). The Word of God must be her final authority in life because, if its authority is not clear to her, then she will become a judge of Scripture rather than letting Scripture judge her. This leads to compromise and eventual moral collapse (Romans 1:22–25). One common error in discussing biblical womanhood is to mix cultural stereotypes with scriptural truth. This mistake has kept millions of women from pursuing their dreams and developing their gifts. Many pursuits or careers were considered “for men only,” and women were expected to stay home and keep house. However, biblical womanhood does not mean that every woman must conform to a societal standard of femininity. For some women, embracing their femininity will mean they pursue careers in medicine, construction, or law enforcement because God has gifted them to serve in those areas. For others, raising children and making a home is a fulfillment of their God-given desires.
1 Peter 3:3–4 sheds some light on God’s goals for His daughters. Although Peter is speaking specifically to wives, this instruction applies to all women who seek biblical womanhood: “Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as elaborate hairstyles and the wearing of gold jewelry or fine clothes. Rather, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.” The Bible does not give similar instructions to men, which reveals God’s understanding of the women He created. He knows that women generally focus more on their outward appearance than most men do. He also knows that the physical beauty of a woman is often exploited, cheapened, and used for selfish ends. So He lets her know that her real beauty is not found there, on the outside. He wants His daughters to dig more deeply to find the reflection of Himself that He placed inside them.
The passage in 1 Peter is not a condemnation of outward beauty but a redirection of focus. A Cover Girl face with a coarse, mean spirit does not draw people for the right reasons (Proverbs 31:30). An attractive appearance quickly loses its appeal to those closest to a woman of poor character. But a woman who walks with God radiates the glory of God to everyone she meets. A woman who models biblical womanhood has a gentle and quiet spirit, but she can also lead a corporation, head a maintenance crew, or discover medical cures. In fact, as she allows the Holy Spirit to control her, God blesses her natural gifting to accomplish even more than she could if she tried to succeed in her own way. When a woman turns her attention to the beauty of her soul, her attractiveness becomes a cause of her exaltation rather than her exploitation. As she focuses on developing kindness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22), she becomes more like Jesus, whose attractiveness was not outward; yet the world has never produced such beauty (Isaiah 53:2).
Since most women will be wives at some point in their lives, biblical womanhood affects the husband/wife relationship. According to Scripture, the wife’s role is different from the husband’s role, but not inferior. Ephesians 5:22–23 is the passage most often quoted in regard to the wife’s role: “Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.” However, we err when we treat this passage as a stand-alone commandment for women. It is sandwiched between even stronger commands to the church at large. Verse 21 begins this section with, “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.” The rest of the section instructs husbands to “love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her” (verse 25). The command for wives is merely a reflection of the attitude that every believer should adopt (Philippians 2:3). When a godly husband loves His wife the way Christ loves the church, a godly wife has little difficulty in submitting to his leadership.
Biblical womanhood is more than a career path or the ability to reproduce and nurture. Because every human being carries a unique facet of God’s own nature (Genesis 1:27), we glorify Him by reflecting that nature to the world. Women can reveal God’s glory in ways unique to their gender, as can men. In this confusing day when gender identity has become a matter of preference, it is vital that those who know and love God and His Word remain grounded in His truth. God designed men to reflect His glory through biblical manhood. He designed women to reflect other aspects of His glory through biblical womanhood. When we all seek to honor Him in every part of our lives, we will live harmoniously, fulfilling complementary roles as we carry out the mission Jesus gave to all of us. (Matthew 28:19)
China - in His image 