Sexuality is a gift to us from God and should be viewed as such. God created sex for two purposes: “procreation and unity between husband and wife” (Genesis 1:28; Matthew 19:6; Mark 10:7–8; 1 Corinthians 7:1–5). Any other use of sex is sin (1 Corinthians 6:9, 18; 1 Thessalonians 4:3). Sadly, many in our world do not believe these truths. As a result, there are many perversions of sexuality and much unnecessary pain caused by them. Parents who properly educate their children about sex can help their children discern truth from error, walk in wisdom, and ultimately have a more wholesome experience of the gift of sexuality.
Human sexuality, including all its physical, emotional, and spiritual intricacies, was God’s invention. He gave sexuality to His human creations as a gift with two functions: “to perpetuate the human race and to create an intimate bond between husband and wife.” The right use of sexuality leads us to understand intimacy with God in greater ways; the wrong use of it destroys intimacy with God and substitutes sexuality in His place. In order to understand the biblical view of sexuality, we will examine its multi-faceted nature one aspect at a time.
The first mention of sexuality in the Bible is in the Garden of Eden. God told Adam and Eve to “be fruitful and multiply, filling the earth” (Genesis 1:27–28), a command that necessitates sex. Shortly after that, we read that Adam “made love to his wife Eve, and she became pregnant and gave birth to Cain.” (Genesis 4:1). The first couple was experiencing sexuality the way God had gifted it to them. Sex was to be a unifying action they entered into together that was to be unlike any other connection. It was specially designed by their Creator to be the single most intimate action two humans could experience. Within covenant marriage, sexual union is a binding force that draws the couple together as “one flesh” (Genesis 2:24; Matthew 19:6). They discover and share with each other in ways that are exclusive to the couple and creates a sacred unity.
Whatever God creates, Satan perverts. It did not take long for fallen humanity to distort and destroy God’s sacred gift of sexuality. By the time God gave the Law to the Israelites, He had to forbid all sorts of sexual perversions that were accepted by the cultures at the time. God had already designated one man for one woman since creation but now had to clarify and forbid all manner of perversions people had invented. And as the population of the earth increased, God tightened the ethical boundaries about marrying close relatives. Leviticus 18-19 detail many of those forbidden practices, such as sex with a close family member, adultery, and homosexuality.
Although polygamy was tolerated during Old Testament times, partially due to the lack of options for single women and the need for men to have many sons for survival of the family line, the practice was fairly non-existent by New Testament times. In fact, Jesus reiterated God’s initial purpose for marriage when asked about divorce. In Matthew 19:4–6 Jesus said, “Haven’t you read,” he replied, “that at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female,and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” Being the husband of only one wife was a requirement for church leadership. (1 Timothy 3:2, 12; Titus 1:6)
A significant percentage of the world’s problems stems directly or indirectly from our abuse of God’s gift of sexuality. Imagine the world we would have if every human being followed God’s standards for sexuality. Abortions, divorce, STD’s, AIDS, pornography, sex trafficking, fatherless children, single mothers, rape, abandoned babies, and pedophilia would all cease or be greatly reduced. The ripple effects of those changes alone would completely transform every continent, every nation, and every culture. Economies would rebound, disease would plummet, and mental hospitals would have empty beds.
God knows what He is talking about when He includes boundaries with His gifts. Electricity is an incredible discovery and if used correctly benefits all mankind. Used wrongly, however, electricity can maim or kill. So it is with the power of human sexuality. When we seek to live within the healthy boundaries God instituted for our well-being, sexuality is His greatest gift to mankind.
In the proper setting, sex is not a sin. In fact, sex is God’s idea. In Matthew 19:4-6, Jesus states with godly authority, “at the beginning the Creator ‘made them male and female, and said, ‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh.So they are no longer two, but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” The creation account is thus the foundation for the institution of marriage, which was validated by the Creator Himself and established to be a lifelong union between one man and one woman.
The very fact that God created humanity as “male and female” reveals that we are created as sexual beings. And God’s command to “be fruitful and multiply” cannot be fulfilled without sex. (Genesis 1:28) Sex is a God-given mandate, so there is no way that sex is a sin if done with one’s lifelong marriage partner of the opposite sex. The word “sex” is not found in the Bible. The numerous mentions of the word in society, and the world’s tendency to sneer, have given the word a certain amount of notoriety. But God never intended it to be a dirty word.
The Song of Solomon follows a loving relationship between a husband and his wife through the betrothal period, wedding night, and beyond. The description of the husband and wife’s pleasure in chapter 4 is discreet yet unmistakable in its meaning. That description is followed in Song of Solomon 5:1 with God’s approval: “Eat, friends, and drink; drink your fill of love.”
It is only outside of marriage that “sex is sinful.” God made it very certain that the marriage bed must be kept pure (Hebrews 13:4). Sexual activity outside of marriage is called fornication. 1 Corinthians 6:9-10 says, “Or do you not know that wrongdoers will not inherit the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived: Neither the sexually immoral nor idolaters nor adulterers nor men who have sex with men nor thieves nor the greedy nor drunkards nor slanderers nor swindlers will inherit the kingdom of God.” Engaging in sex without the benefit of marriage is immoral, and “it is God’s will that you should be sanctified: that you should avoid sexual immorality” (1 Thessalonians 4:3; 1 Corinthians 6:18).
If the Bible’s message on abstaining from sex until married were upheld, there would be far fewer sexually transmitted diseases, far fewer abortions, far fewer unwanted pregnancies, and far fewer children growing up without both parents in their lives. Abstinence saves lives, gives sexual relations the proper value and, most importantly, honors God. In no way is sex between a husband and wife a sin. Rather, it is a beautiful expression of love, trust, sharing, and unity. Sex is God’s gift to a married couple for pleasure and procreation.
Marriage has been a hot topic lately, and there is much confusion surrounding the issue. Is there a design for marriage, and, if so, who has the right to change the design? Can we redefine what marriage is if the old definitions are too restrictive? At the heart of our questioning is a clash of worldviews.
It seems that Christians who take the Bible as God’s final word on the subject of marriage are the only ones who are not confused. God is not the author of confusion (1 Corinthians 14:33), and He has stated plainly that marriage is His idea. He defined it in the Garden of Eden (Genesis 2:24). Jesus reiterated God’s design for marriage in the New Testament. (Mark 10:6–8)
After God created the first man, Adam, He said, “It is not good for man to be alone. I will make a suitable helper for him” (Genesis 2:18). So God’s first objective in creating marriage was to provide companionship. He did not make another man for Adam so that he could experience brotherly affection. He created a woman from the man’s own body and brought her to the man (Genesis 2:21–22). With the woman, Adam could experience a deeper kind of intimacy than he could with a man. God created male and female bodies and souls to complement each other in such a way that they become “one flesh” in marriage (Genesis 2:24).
God’s design for marriage is that it be a unique union between a man and a woman in a covenant for life. God’s design includes sex, the consummation of that union, which is to be experienced only between a married couple. Any sexual expression outside the marriage covenant is sin. The sexual union was designed, in part, to bring forth children (Genesis 1:28), who are to be raised in “the nurture and admonition of the Lord.” (Ephesians 6:4) By designating specific roles for husband, wife, and children, God instituted the family. With the husband bearing the responsibility for the family’s well-being and the wife acting as his helper, the family can thrive. (Ephesians 5:21–33)
God’s design for marriage is that it be a picture of His union with those He calls His own. Throughout the Old Testament, God used imagery related to marriage to explain His love and commitment toward Israel. When the nation of Israel rebelled against Him, God expressed the sorrow and jealousy of a man who has a cheating wife. “Like a woman unfaithful to her husband, so you, Israel, have been unfaithful to me,” the Lord says in Jeremiah 3:20. In the New Testament, marriage is used as an illustration of Christ and His relationship with His Bride, the Church. Paul writes, “I am jealous for you with a godly jealousy. I promised you to one husband, to Christ, so that I might present you as a pure virgin to him.” (2 Corinthians 11:2; Ephesians 5:31–32) So God’s design for marriage is that it be an unbreakable covenant such as God has made with His people.
When God designed marriage, He pronounced it “very good.” (Genesis 1:31) He still pronounces it “good” when we follow His design. All perversions of His design, including divorce, sexual promiscuity, and homosexual activity, destroy families and therefore weaken society. God is the designer of marriage and the only One qualified to give us instructions about how to use His gift. We do well when we decide to follow His design for marriage.
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